Avraham and his Friends

On a number of occasions, Avraham is directly and indirectly designated by HaShem as someone who is going to make a profound impression upon everyone that will get to know him or even merely hear about him:

…and all of the families of the earth will bless using you as an example (Avraham and his family will be the paradigm of virtue and success.)

And your name will no longer be called Avram, and your name will be Avraham, because I have Positioned you to be the father of masses of nations.

And Avraham will surely be a great and powerful nation, and they, all the nations of the world, will bless by him.

And Avraham planted an inn/orchard^¹ in Be’er Sheva, and he called there in the Name of God, the eternal God…

And all the nations of the world will bless themselves by your offspring, since you listened to My Voice.

Ample evidence of Avraham’s fame and sterling reputation is given by Efron, who, during the course of negotiations for a burial site for Sara, refers to Avraham in the most glowing and deferential terms:

Listen to us, my master! You are a Prince of God in our midst. From the choice of graves, bury your dead. Not a single one of us will hold back his own grave from you preventing you from burying your dead.

Furthermore, Avraham’s wanderings bring him into contact with quite a number of varied individuals, including even royalty.

After Avraham and Sara journey to Egypt as a result of an intense famine in Canaan, Pharoah complains that they had deceived him by claiming that Sara was Avraham’s sister rather than his wife. While Pharoah does banish the couple from his kingdom, nevertheless Avraham keeps the riches that he was given as the “marriage price” for Sara, making Avraham extremely wealthy and therefore well-known and influential when he returns to Canaan. This is at least a partial fulfillment of God’s Promise in 12:2 to make Avraham’s name great and inspire others to use his success as a paradigm of blessing.

Avraham successfully attacks and defeats the coalition of four kings that had kidnapped his nephew Lot. In the aftermath of the battle, he negotiates with the King of Sodom regarding the spoils of war, and receives both refreshment and a blessing from MalkiTzedek, King of Shalem.^²

While the three visitors to whom Avraham offers hospitality following his own circumcision turn out to be angels, his desire for guests in general, regardless of their beliefs or nationalities, as evidenced by his sitting at his tent’s opening in the heat of the day despite his recent surgical procedure, represents the quality of “Hachnasat Orchim” (welcoming guests) to which he and Sara were quite devoted. Not only would these itinerant travelers benefit from being given food to eat, a place to sleep and the opportunity to refresh themselves, but Avraham in this manner came into contact with an ever-wider group of diverse people.

When Avraham prays on behalf of Sodom and Amora, aside from Lot and his family who are his relatives, he is doing so on behalf of people whom he has never met. Furthermore, this area’s notorious policies^³ intended to discourage visitors and sojourners probably contributed to the number of people wandering in the cities’ vicinity to whom Avraham could extend the kindnesses that the travelers failed to find in Sodom and Amora. He must have also heard from these travelers tales of the immorality and cruelty that permeated the urban atmosphere which they bypassed or from which they fled. Nevertheless, Avraham’s universalist commitment to the people of the world in general is so strong that he feels the need to take up their cause, as guilty as the majority of these people may have been, and challenge HaShem’s destruction plan for Sodom and Amora.^⁴

Avraham and Sara misrepresent their relationship a second time, in this instance, to the

Avraham with entrapping him in sin by allowing the king to think that Sara was unmarried (20:9-10), Avraham is unfazed and accuses the inhabitants of Gerar of creating an immoral atmosphere in their city (20:11). Not only does Avimelech accept Avraham’s criticism, but in contrast to Pharoah who exiled Avraham and Sara, Avimelech welcomes them to stay in his kingdom (20:15), and even enters into a non-aggression pact with Avraham after observing his exemplary lifestyle and the apparent success that God has Bestowed upon him (21:22 ff.)

In addition to the literal story line of the Bible illustrating the multiple positive impressions that Avraham makes upon his neighbors, as well as the concern that he sincerely evidences on their behalves, several Midrashic sources develop this theme even further. The Midrash speculates regarding the origins of the two key servants in Avraham’s household who play major roles in the life of Avraham’s family, the handmaiden Hagar and the male servant Eliezer. Hagar becomes the surrogate mother of Avraham’s first son, Yishmael (Chapt. 16, 21), and Eliezer is entrusted with finding a suitable wife for Yitzchak, the son chosen to carry on the Avrahamic tradition (15:2; 24:2 ff.)^⁵ In stark contrast to the maidservants of Leah and Rachel, i.e., Bilha and Zilpa, who are literally nothing more than surrogate mothers to their mistresses,^⁶ and are never quoted as uttering even a single word, both Hagar and Eliezer speak,^⁷ are spoken to,^⁸ and are described as forward and self-confident.^⁹ The Rabbinical tradition therefore concludes that while Hagar and Eliezer presently occupy lowly positions in Avraham’s household, their origins were such that they never developed a typical slave mentality.^¹⁰

Said R. Shimon bar Yochai: Sara was the daughter of Pharoah (with whom Avraham and Sara interacted in Beraishit 12:10-20), and when Pharoah saw the miraculous things that were done on Sara’s behalf while she was in his palace,^¹¹ he took his daughter (Hagar) and gave her to him (Avraham). He said: It is better that my daughter be a handmaiden in this house, than a noblewoman anywhere else. This is what is meant when it is written, (Beraishit 16:1) “And she had an Egyptian handmaiden and her name was Hagar”…

Also Avimelech (the King of Gerar), when he saw the miracles that were done on Sara’s behalf when she was in his palace, he took his daughter (we are not told her name) and gave her to him (Avraham). He said: It is better that my daughter be a handmaiden in this house, than a noblewoman anywhere else. This is what is meant when it is written, (Tehillim 45:10) “The daughters of kings give You Honor…”^¹²

…And Avraham’s servant was Eliezer. And where did his servant come from? When Avraham (and his family) prepared to leave Ur Kasdim (Beraishit 11:31), all of the great men of the area came to him and gave him gifts. And Nimrod^¹³ took his servant Eliezer, and gave him to Avraham. And when he carried out his kindness on behalf of Yitzchak,

Avraham released him from servitude and HaShem Gave him his reward in This World, by Making him a king. He became Og, the King of Bashan.^¹⁴

The Rabbis expand the mystique of being part of Avraham’s family even further by suggesting that not only princesses and royal servants were assigned by their fathers and masters to become part of this notable band of individuals, but that individuals would willingly subject themselves to less than honorable status in order to be even tangentially associated with Avraham and his descendants.

(Beraishit 36:22) “The sister of Lotan was Timna”—Who was Timna? She was the daughter of royalty, as it is written (36:29, 40) “The chieftain of Lotan…”, “The chieftain of Timna”. And every chieftain is a king without a crown (i.e., even though officially a chieftain is not a king, for all intents and purposes he has royal status, thereby conferring upon Timna royal status as well. She was desirous to convert and went to Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov. But they refused to accept her. She went and became the concubine for Elifaz, son of Eisav. She said: It is better that I be a handmaiden in this house, than a noblewoman anywhere else. There descended from her Amalek who exceedingly troubled the Jewish people. Why did this occur? Because they (Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov; fig. the Jewish people) should not have driven her away.

Once such a background is established, it is interesting to consider three individuals who rather than being overwhelmed by Avraham’s holiness and righteousness, functioned as his peers, allies and even, at least according to Rabbinic tradition, advisor(s).^¹⁵ The verses that name them and their relationship with Avraham are presented within the context of when Avraham first learns that his nephew Lot has been kidnapped by the kings that attacked Sodom, and the distribution of spoils following Avraham’s victory over the attacking kings.

And the refugee (from the war of the kings) came and told Avram the Hebrew (that Lot was being held). And he (Avraham) was dwelling among the terebinths of Mamre, the Amorites, the “brother”^¹⁶ of Eshkol, and the “brother” of Aner, and they were “Ba’alei Brit” (lit. members of the covenant; fig. allies) of Avraham.

Leave me out (from the distribution of the spoils of war); only what the youths consumed and the portion of the men that went with me, Aner, Eshkol, Mamre, they shall take their portion.

According to the literal explanation of the term “Ba’alei Brit”, these four men had entered into a security pact whereby they were prepared to protect one another from physical threats from without. But there are others who due to the utilization of the word “Brit” which can also be interpreted as a reference to circumcision, maintain that a serious give-and-take took place between Avraham and his friends concerning HaShem’s Commandment for Avraham to circumcise himself and all of the members of his household.

Various commentators try to explain why Avraham would go to Emorim—the nationality of Aner, Eshkol and Mamre—who were members of one of the seven Canaanite nations, however close he might have felt to them, to discuss whether or not to carry out an aspect of the nascent Jewish religion. Chizkuni suggests that Avraham was seeking medical advice concerning how he could best heal following the surgery. Da’at Zekeinim MiBa’alei Tosafot opine that he was wondering whether to do it secretly or publicly, with Mamre advising him to maximize the “Kiddush HaShem” quotient in the act and to be open about it. The same collection of commentaries alternately raises the possibility that Avraham was inquiring as to the part of the body upon which to perform the circumcision, or what to do with those in the household who would not allow themselves to be subjected to this operation. Gur Aryeh maintains that Avraham asked his closest friends in order to demonstrate that he did not carry out the circumcision without exploring all of its implications, and even the reasons not to perform it. Only then would it be clear that he performed the Mitzva with all of his faculties and in his right mind.

But NeTzIV on 14:13 suggests that what linked Avraham and these other three men together was not merely convenience and mutual protection, but also a jointly held religious belief, which in turn makes his consultation with them so much more reasonable.

The beliefs of Avraham, (i.e., “Brit” is not just a generic term that indicates some type of agreement or pact, but in this context resembles the religious covenants entered into, e.g., between God and Avraham in Beraishit 15.) “Brit” is a term that indicates belief, for every individual who believes and worships God, is considered to have entered into a “Brit” with Him, that he will worship Him, and God will Watch over him…

Therefore if Avraham would have been killed trying to save Lot, it would have affected them personally. This is the reason that they went into battle with him, and they too trusted in God to perform miracles on their behalves.

It is possible that NeTzIV was not only influenced by the term “Brit” itself when contending that Aner, Eshkol and Mamre should be numbered among Avraham’s “converts” to Monotheism, but also by the following two Midrashim that associate “Brit” in the context of Mamre, Eshkol and Aner, with “Brit Mila” (circumcision).

R. Yehuda believes that it is the name of a place, while R. Nechemia believes it is the name of a person.

And why was his name called “Mamre”? Because “SheHimra Panim” (that he became upset) with Avraham.

When the Holy One Blessed Be He Commanded Avraham to practice circumcision, he went to consult with his three friends.

Mamre said to him: Didn’t your God Stand by you in the fiery furnace (of Ur Kasdim), the famine (where Avraham and Sara had to relocate to Egypt) and the kings (where Avraham saved Lot)? Yet in this matter where He Commands you to circumcise yourself, you are not prepared to listen to Him?

The Holy One, Blessed Be He, Said to Mamre: You gave him (Avraham) such good advice! I will Reveal myself neither in the palace of Aner, nor the palace of Eshkol, but rather in your palace, as it is said, “And HaShem Appeared to him (Avraham) in the terebinths of Mamre.”

And why does the Tora call it “Kiryat Arba”? Because four righteous people lived within its precincts: Aner, Eshkol, Mamre, Avraham.

And four righteous men were circumcised there: Avraham, Aner, Eshkol and Mamre…

Note the change in order between the two listings of the four men in Beraishit Rabba. In particular, with regard to the circumcision, only once Avraham had completed the task, did his allies and colleagues follow suit and subjected themselves to the same procedure. Even though Aner and Eshkol are depicted by Yalkut Shimoni as originally advising Avraham against following through on God’s Command, in the end, they too accept upon themselves God’s Dominion and decide to similarly emblazon the sign of God’s Covenant upon their bodies.

Avraham made the acquaintance of many individuals over the many years that he traveled the length and breadth of the land of Israel and elsewhere. However, it would appear that the only true “fellow travelers” that he had, individuals in whom he could confide and trust with his most personal and difficult issues, was a small group whom he not only taught regarding belief in God, but who also taught him important lessons regarding his own faith development. Everyone needs at least one Chevruta, and Avraham had three!

Shabbat Shalom, and may we too enjoy good and deep friendships that are mutually satisfying and beneficial, so that we all can go from Chayil to Chayil in our quest for spiritual growth and development.

1 Either translation/interpretation of the word “Eishel” lends itself to Avraham’s interest in having guests and encouraging them to become monotheists. In order to advance this endeavor, Avraham either planted exceptional fruit-bearing trees whose produce he would be able to feed his guests and make upon them a deep impression of the great quality and abundance of food that he cares to share, or Avraham constructed a shelter in which he could accommodate very comfortably large numbers of passers-by.

3 Some of the Sodomite practices listed in Sanhedrin 109b include: a) taking the ferry cost a Zuz; swimming across the river instead cost 2 Zuz; b) According to the number of cows one had, was determined how many days one had to shepherd the flocks of the entire city. If a person has a single cow, he has to watch the herds for a single day; a person with no herds, had to watch all of the herds for two days; c) Someone who had a pile of bricks, everyone passing by would help themselves to one of them, rationalizing, “I am only taking one!”, d) if a person injures another and causes him to bleed, the attacker must be paid by the victim because the perpetrator carried out “blood letting”, a supposed curative process during times of plague and other serious disease.

10 The literal story of Moshe in Sefer Shemot makes a similar point. According to Ibn Ezra on Shemot 2:3, had Moshe not been raised in the royal palace under the supervision of Pharoah’s daughter, he would have been as subservient as his fellow Jews, and never have had the nerve to speak to power and ultimately lead his people out of Egypt. As it was, he was extremely reluctant to accept God’s Mission, and while this is usually attributed to his extreme humility that is even attested to by the Divine (BaMidbar 12:3), another reason for his reticence could reasonably have been the general downtrodden and dispirited state of the Jewish people in Egypt, as well.

11 Beraishit 12:17 states that God Sent plagues against Pharoah and his household once he had mistakenly taken Sara to be his wife. RaShI explains that the plagues specifically affected the genital area, thereby indicating that the sicknesses had come about due to some improper sexual conduct that either had been already perpetrated or was only contemplated at this time. The parallel story of what happens to Avraham and Sara when they relocate to Gerar has God Coming to Avimelech in a dream in order to explain what is transpiring. But there too at the end of the story (20:17-18) it is noted that HaShem Heals the royal household from the condition of closed orifices with which He had Punished the inhabitants of Gerar. Such a malady would include difficulty in engaging in sexual intimacy as well as bearing children. RaShI states a similar idea with regard to how Tzippora was able to deduce that Moshe was being attacked by an angel as the result of his not performing a circumcision on his newborn son (Shemot 4:24). According to the Midrash that RaShI cites on Shemot 4:24, Moshe was completely swallowed up except for the genital area, sending a signal loud and clear that the problem was the outgrowth of something not done properly concerning this part of someone’s body.

12 Whereas Hagar is clearly mentioned in the text, leading to the Midrashic speculations concerning her origins and upbringing, we have no such clear indication of any daughter of Avimelech joining Avraham’s entourage. It would appear that this is contended by the Midrash, only once the precedent of Pharoah’s daughter, Hagar, is established. If virtually the same sequence of events, including miracles, transpire in Gerar as had earlier taken place in Egypt, why shouldn’t Avimelech have reacted in a manner similar to that of Pharoah?

13 According to Beraishit Rabba 38:13, Nimrod had been responsible for throwing Avraham into a burning furnace because of Avraham’s insistence to believe in Monotheism. Apparently, just as Pharoah and Avimelech are later impressed by miracles that God Performs on behalf of those who believe in Him, Nimrod was similarly inspired by the God’s having saved Avraham from the flames, and subsequently sought to mollify Avraham with gifts, in this case transferring Eliezer to him. This is a bit reminiscent of when a beaten Pharoah, after the last of the plagues has taken its heavy toll on Egyptian normalcy, requests Moshe to finally also bless him (Shemot 12:32)! The significant difference among the three stories is that whereas in the cases of Pharoah and Avimelech, a royal daughter, a princess, is pressed into servitude in Avraham’s encampment, Eliezer is not described as Nimrod’s son, simply a royal servant. Whereas a son of a king would be expected to inherit the mantle of leadership from his father, this did not ordinarily happen with regard to a daughter, let alone a servant. The royal father of a daughter might seek to use her marriage to create politically advantageous alliances, as in the case of Pharoah marrying off his daughter to Shlomo (I Melachim 3:1)—or was it Shlomo who benefited from being the son-in-law of Pharoah? However, such a father was also genuinely concerned about her future welfare and would worry about assuring that she marry well and securely. A suggestion that fathers were more concerned about the ultimate fate of their daughters than their sons is implicit within the interpretation attributed to R. Meir in Bava Batra 16b regarding the verse (Beraishit 24:1) “…And God Blessed Avraham ‘BaKol’ (with everything)”: Rabbi Meir said—That he (Avraham) did not have a daughter. (This view is countered by the opinions of 1] R. Yehuda—Avraham specifically did have a daughter; 2] “Others”—Avraham had a daughter names “BaKol”; 3] R. Elazar HaModa’i—Avraham was an astrologer and was relied upon by all of the kings in the east and the west; 4] R. Shimon bar Yochai—Avraham possessed a precious jewel that he would wear around his neck, and anyone ill who would look upon it would be cured, and upon his death, the jewel was Placed by God in the sun…) However, this could have been unique to Avraham, since he recognized that a wife would follow her husband’s family’s beliefs, and it was therefore likely that any daughter would per force engage in idolatry, regardless of how Avraham had brought her up.

14 According to this Midrash, Og has the proverbial “nine lives”, until his reprieves finally run out in Sefer BaMidbar, when he foolhardily decides to challenge the Jews who wished to cross his territory (BaMidbar 21:33 ff.) The manner in which he was to have escaped the flood was by virtue that he was so big, tall and strong, all lending themselves to the type of intimidation that he seems to have been extorting from shopkeepers for years.

However according to Pirkei D’Rabbi Eliezer, a different slant on the role of Eliezer/Og is given. According to this scenario, Eliezer was freed by Avraham from slavery, after having served many years as a menial servant. Does it not stand to reason that he and his offspring would be loathe to allow anyone to traverse their territory without formal permission, when such an incursion might be designed to take over their land and return them to a life of servitude?.

16 “Brother”, in addition to the literal biological connotation, can also mean someone with whom another has a close relationship to the extent that s/he will risk his life on behalf of his/her “brother”. See for instance the usage of “His sister” in Shemot 2:4, 7. (While it could be contended that specific names are not supplied for the most part during this time of history until Shemot 6, and this is the reason why the pronoun is being used, on the other hand there could be an additional nuance to “Achoto”. In Shemot 15:20, where Aharon is specifically identified as Miriam’s sister, has a change of allegiance taken place, anticipating BaMidbar 12?