Self-Control and
Religion
R. Yaakov Bieler
פרשיות
ויגש-ויחי,
תשס"ט
One of
the personal characteristics that distinguishes Yosef from other Biblical
characters is his penchant for crying.
Beraishit
43:30
(His brothers
have returned to Egypt, this time accompanied by Binyamin, the brother to whom
Yosef feels closest because of their common mother, Rachel.)
And Yosef hurried, because his compassion was aroused
because of his brothers and he wanted to cry, and he came into the
(separate) room and he cried there.[1]
Ibid. 45:2
(Yosef no longer can continue the pretense that he is a
stranger to his siblings.)
And he raised his voice in crying, and
Ibid. 14
(Yosef allows himself to demonstrate his special relationship
with his younger brother.)
And he fell on the neck of Binyamin his brother and he
cried, and Binyamin cried on his neck.
Ibid. 46:29
(Yosef greets his father Yaakov upon his arrival in
And Yosef prepared his chariot and he went up to meet Yisrael
his father, to
Ibid. 50:1
(Upon Yaakov’s death, Yosef demonstrates his devotion to
his father one last time.)
And Yosef fell on the face of his father, and he cried
upon him and he kissed him.
Ibid. 17
(Responding to the brother’s fabrication of a death-bed
plea on the part of their father, Yosef weeps for being unjustly suspected of
planning to avenge himself on his siblings for their past perfidy.)
So they said to Yosef, “Please now forgive the sin of
your brothers and their iniquity because they treated you evilly, and now
forgive please the transgression of the servants of the God of your father.”
And Yosef cried when they spoke to him.
Yet the same individual who cries so freely and
frequently, also exhibits extraordinary control over his emotions, first when
he resists the advances of Potiphar’s wife (Ibid. 39:7 ff.), and then when he
needs to impose rather draconian policies upon the Egyptian people in order to
assure that they would survive the years of famine (Ibid. 47:14 ff.)
Furthermore, the Rabbis attribute to Yosef exemplary personal self-restraint
during these lean years in order to reflect empathy for the rest of the
populace:[2]
Ibid. 41:50
And to Yosef were born two sons before the years
of famine came…
RaShI (see Ta’anit 11a.)
From here it is prohibited for an individual to be
intimate with his spouse (and thereby potentially conceive children) during
years of famine.
An
article by John Tierney, appearing in this past Tuesday’s New York Times
(December 30th, 2008, p. D2,)[3]
“For Good Self-Control, Try Getting Religious About It,” might not only shed
some light upon Yosef’s behavior, but also raises interesting issues for all
those who view themselves as seriously religiously observant. The author refers
to a study scheduled to appear in the upcoming Psychological Bulletin, undertaken
by psychologists Michael McCollough and Brian Willoughby who reviewed research
conducted over the course of 80 years with regard to the effects of religious
observance and piety upon the quality of self-control. While it could be
contended that individuals who already possess high levels of self-control are
attracted to religious observance in the first place, McCollough states that
brain studies demonstrate that “when people pray or meditate, there’s a lot of
activity in two parts of the brain that are important for self-regulation and
control of attention and emotion,” in effect further developing qualities that
may already exist. Consequently one could apply such findings to our Parashiot
in order to suggest the hypothesis that due to Yosef’s upbringing in a
household where strong values and self-discipline were the order of the day,[4]
despite his generally high level of emotionalism, he also possessed the ability
to gather himself, assert his intellect and moral values, and do what was
necessary even in emotionally stressful circumstances.
The author of the Times article then
intriguingly wonders whether those who are not actually religious believers could
still benefit from religious practices by carrying them out as if they did
believe. Dr. McCollough summerarily discourages this line of thinking when he
states, “personality studies have identified a difference between true
believers and others who attend services for extrinsic reasons, like wanting to
impress people or make social connections. The intrinsically religious
people have higher self-control, but the extrinsically religious do
not.” McCollough’s distinction between
those who engage in religious practices for ulterior motives in contrast to
those who perform Mitzvot LiShmo (for their sake/ for God’s Sake) should
be familiar to us in light of classical Jewish sources.
Avot 1:3
…He (Antignos Ish Socho) used to say: Do not be
like servants who serve the Master in order to receive a reward, but rather
like servants who serve the Master without expectation of reward…
Ibid. 4:5
…R. Zadok says: Do not make them (the Mitzvot)
into a crown by which to aggrandize
oneself, and not a shovel with which to dig.
And similarly Hillel used to say: The one who uses this
“crown” will depart from the world. By this you have learned that one who
derives personal benefit from matters of Tora takes his life from the world.[5]
RaMBaM formulated the need to have pure motives when
serving God in the following manner:[6]
Mishneh Tora, Hilchot Teshuva 10:2
One who serves (God) out of love, engages in Tora and
Mitzvot, walks in the paths of wisdom, not because of any outside
consideration in the world: not because of a fear of evil (should he not comply
to the Commandments), and not to inherit good (all sorts of rewards), but
rather he engages in the truth because it is the truth. And as a result,
goodness will automatically come as a result. And this level is a very great
one, and not every sage manages to achieve it. And it is the level of Avraham
our father, who is referred to by the Holy One, Blessed be He, (Yeshayahu
41:8) “…he who loves Me…” because he only served God out of love. And it is the
level that God Commanded Moshe, as it is said, (Devarim 6:8) “And you
will love the Lord, your God”. And when an individual loves God appropriately,
immediately he will carry out Mitzvot as a result of love.[7]
Ibid. 10:4
Said the early scholars: Lest you say, “Behold I will
study Tora in order that I will become wealthy, in order that I will be
called ‘Rabbi’, in order that I will receive a reward in the World to Come,”
the Tora comes to state (as a refutation of such sentiments), (Devarim
11:13) “…to love God…”—whatever you do, only do it out of love. And the
scholars said further: (Tehilim 112:1) “He (the God-fearing individual)
was very desirous of His Mitzvot”—not the reward of His Mitzvot…
While McCollough presents the dichotomy between extrinsic
and intrinsic religion in such a way to suggest that those who are driven by
ulterior motives will never derive the benefits of the religious life with
respect to personality development such as enhanced self-control, Jewish tradition
does not view the process in all-or-nothing terms.
Pesachim 50b
R. Yehuda said in the name of
Rav: An individual should always engage in Tora and Mitzvot even
for ulterior motives, because doing things for inferior reasons can ultimately lead
to doing them for the right reasons.
Yet, just as McCollough may have overstated the
difference between LiShmo and Lo LiShmo, it would be similarly
disingenuous to advocate the opposite extreme. If there is an openness to
religious development on the part of a
currently dispirited individual, then spiritual sensibilities have the
potential to become increasingly refined and sanctified over time given proper
repetition and context; however, if the person has no interest in growing
religiously but is simply and exclusively motivated by personal gains, it is
altogether possible that the ulterior motive will remain in place, constituting
an exercise in self-interest rather than self-sacrifice for some higher cause.[8]
Finally,
Dr. McCollough suggests why he thinks religious people have successfully
managed to internalize their ritual practices to the point where qualities like self-control become enhanced:
Religious
people... are self-controlled not simply because they fear God’s wrath, but
because they’ve absorbed the ideals of their religion into
their own system of values, and have thereby given their personal goals
an aura of sacredness.
The
psychologist’s comment suggests to me that it might be insufficient to simply
“go through the motions” even if one is doing so because he does deeply believe
that he is carrying out God’s Will. An additional and crucial level of
religious observance is the identification of the values that underlie
religious practices followed by self-consciously making them part of one’s overall
spiritual makeup. The process whereby the values inherent in our observances
can be singled out and reflected upon, to my mind, manifests itself by the
search for Ta’amei HaMitzvot (reasons
for the Commandments.) While “misguided” reasons for Mitzvot could in
effect paradoxically result in Lo LiShmo performance, e.g., observing
the laws of Kashrut or circumcision due to supposed health benefits, or
even, Chas VeShalom, justification for ceasing to perform Mitzvot
due to the assumption that if a presumed
reason does not apply, the Commandment itself is no longer relevant, as
in the case of Shlomo HaMelech,[9]
proper study of rationales for Commandments can lead to profound spiritual and
personal growth in the sense of making us more sincere and heart-felt devotees
of HaShem.
A ready source for the possible
reasons for Mitzvot is the Sefer HaChinuch. Included in
the presentation of each Commandment is a section entitled “Sherashei
HaMitzva” (roots of the Commandment.) Whereas there is no single “correct”
reason that can be attributed to a particular Mitzva—afterall if the Tora
originates with God, Whose Intellect is so far beyond that of human beings, we
can only try to understand the Tora, while simultaneously exercising
healthy intellectual humility—coupled with the recognition that reasons that
may have made sense during one period of time, are readily supplanted by others
as sensibilities and culture constantly changes,[10]
Sefer HaChinuch’s hypotheses provide both food for thought and models of
analysis. Consider the following three examples of reasons advanced for a
variety of Commandments:
a)
Commandment
#32 The
prohibition against performing Melacha (creative physical
activity) on
Shabbat. (Shemot 20:9)
…and
by virtue of our resting on the seventh day we remember the Creation of the
world (wherein God Rested on the seventh day.) For when humanity rests on a
single day of the week, and someone asks, “What is the benefit of such rest?”
The answer is “Because for six days God Made the Heavens and the earth…”, each
one thereby has his true belief (re God’s Existence, Power and Accomplishments)
reinforced…
(The
recognition that at least one reason for resting on Shabbat is to emulate God’s
Example with respect to the Creation of the World suggests, among other things:
1) the religious life involves generally emulating God’s Actions and Virtues,
2) Shabbat provides an opportunity to contemplate our belief in the Existence
and Achievements of the Divine, and 3) there is greater power in an entire
people’s acting in unison in a coordinated manner to demonstrate its beliefs
and values than when an individual carries out his beliefs in isolation.)
b)
Commandment
#248 One
should not eat and drink in the manner of a drunkard and a glutton.
(VaYikra 19:26)
Because
most human transgressions are the result of excessive eating and drinking…
And
the idea is that food is the “dough” of matter, while reflecting upon
intellectual matters and the fear of God as well as the valuing of His precious
Commandments constitute the “dough” of the soul. And matter and soul are
complete opposites…
Consequently
when the “dough” of matter gains the upper hand (i.e., more attention and
concern is devoted to this aspect of one’s existence than its opposite number,)
the “dough” of the soul is somewhat weakened. And it is for this reason that
some sages would eat no more than absolutely necessary for their subsistence…
(The
reason offered for this Commandment draws attention to the duality of man and
the tension that is often experienced between his physical and spiritual
nature. At least some aspects of the religious life are intended to attempt to
preserve a balance between these two
elements, if not actually advance matters of the soul over matters of the body.
This Mitzva at its essence becomes a laboratory for the development of the very
self-control that the Times article explores.)
c)
Commandment
#607
Proclaiming (that one has fulfilled the
Mitzva properly) when bringing the
second tithe to Jerusalem.
(Devarim 26:13)
Because
the special gift bestowed upon man and his feature most deserved of praise is his
ability to speak, which reflects man’s superiority over all other creatures,
for with respect to other types of actions and movements, other living things
are capable of similar behaviors, consequently there are many people who are
more careful about speaking improperly, which is their great glory, than
transgressing with respect to other actions. And because the separation of
tithes is a significant matter, and also because they are the means of offering
sustenance to the servants of God (Kohanim and Levi’im), it is
one of the kindnesses of God to Warn us regarding not sinning with respect to
the tithes, to Prohibit us from physically handling and using them for our own
personal benefits, and also (Requiring us) to make a verbal pronouncement to
this effect in the Holy Temple, that we have not been dishonest or withholding
concerning them…
(Being
self-conscious about what we say has many ramifications, both with respect to
what should be said, as well as what should not. Furthermore we often have the
tendency to take for granted our possessions when in fact we should recognize
that everything, including ourselves, belong to God. A public ceremony
requiring us to make such a proclamation might impress upon ourselves the need
for reorienting our values.)
Not only do the Commandments that we actually currently
practice (Shabbat, food requirements and restrictions) offer the
opportunity for us to internalize certain spiritual values, but even those that
are dependent upon variables that may not apply presently (Ma’aser Sheini
proclamations) also can teach us via Tora study about where our
priorities ought to be placed, in the spirit of Derosh VeKabeil Sechar[11]
(interpret them and receive reward.) In this manner we can develop not only
self-control, but other admirable virtues and become true servants of God.
[1] It is
curious that Yosef specifically does not cry the first time he is
confronted by his brothers in
[2] Despite the fact that Yosef, as second-in-command to Pharoah, would have had no shortage of food, nevertheless he did not wish to flaunt his more affluent position when so many of those whom he was ruling were terribly disadvantaged.
[4] Beraishit 18:19
Because I (God) Know him (Avraham) that he will command his children and household after him and they will observe the Way of HaShem to do righteousness and justice…
It is assumed that these same principles governed the homes of Yitzchak as well as Yaakov, in which Yosef was raised.
[5] While the sentiment can be viewed as figurative rather than literal, i.e., he has deprived himself of the kind of spiritual life that is available to one who practices religious idealistically and altruistically, Tiferet Yisrael (#35) offers a metaphysical interpretation as well: Since the Tora states that a result of engaging in Tora is long life—(Devarim 30:20) “…because it is your life and your length of days”—abusing Tora will cause the individual to forfeit these benefits in one form or another.
[6] This is not the only source in RaMBaM’s writings where the theme of serving God LiShmo is advocated. Parallel discussions appear in his introduction to the last chapter of Mishna Sanhedrin, his introduction to Mishna Avot, as well as his commentary to Avot 4:5.
[7] A distinction must be made between the general sensibility of love and fear of God, in contrast to the motivation why an individual practices Mitzvot. The Tora commands Jews to feel both love and fear/awe of God in an existential sense, as in:
RaMBaM, Mishneh Tora, Hilchot Yesodei HaTora 2:2
And what is the means by which we can obtain the requisite love and fear for Him? At the moment when an individual reflects upon His Acts and Creations that are so great and miraculous, and he observes in them His Wisdom that cannot be evaluated and is infinite, immediately he loves and praises and glorifies and extols and is consumed with a tremendous passion to know the Great HaShem…
And when he reflects further on these very things, immediately he stumbles backwards and fears and is scared, and realizes that he is a puny, lowly, irrelevant creature standing with extremely limited intelligence before the Perfect Intellect…
However, the sensibilities that govern us in terms of our relationship with God are markedly distinct from the reasons why we should feel we must serve and worship God. Whereas the love/fear matrix defines the ambivalence that overtakes us when we contemplate who and what we are, we nevertheless ought to be motivated by a sense of pure love when carrying out the tasks that have been assigned us by the Divine.
[8] Intriguingly, Chofetz Chayim in Ahavat Chesed, Chapt. 23, interpreting a Midrash that compares the attitudes behind the sacrifices Ola, Shelamim and Chatat, (Ola—whole burnt offering = love for God; Shelamim—part consumed on alter, part by Kohahim, part by the one bringing the sacrifice = sensual personal gain; Chatat—sin offering brought in order to attain atonement for sin = spiritual personal gain), concludes that while love is the ideal motivation, the other sacrifices are equally acceptable and those bringing them are viewed as righteous individuals regardless of what they hope to achieve by means of their respective offerings. Such an approach is apparently not concerned that an ulterior motive might be entangled with the performance of a Commandment. However, earlier in the same chapter, the author insisted that whatever additional intent there might be, in order for the act to be considered a religious act, the individual has to at least recognize that he is fulfilling a Commandment of God, which would preclude the individual who does not believe at all, as John Tierney in his Times article describes himself.
[9] See Sanhedrin 21b.
[10] In Part III of RaMBaM’s Moreh Nevuchim, many Commandments are interpreted as rejections of idolatry, whose specific practices today can only be found in remote parts of the world where pre-industrial peoples typically reside.
[11] See Sanhedrin 51b; 71a.